A million little pieces book how to#
A million little pieces book full#

A million little pieces book how to#

Inside the clinic, James is surrounded by patients as troubled as he is - including a judge, a mobster, a one-time world-champion boxer, and a fragile former prostitute to whom he is not allowed to speak ó but their friendship and advice strikes James as stronger and truer than the clinicís droning dogma of How to Recover. The ensuing torments of detoxification and withdrawal, and the never-ending urge to use chemicals, are captured with a vitality and directness that recalls the seminal eye-opening power of William Burroughsís Junky.īut A Million Little Pieces refuses to fit any mold of drug literature. He had so thoroughly ravaged his body that the facilityís doctors were shocked he was still alive. Recounted in visceral, kinetic prose, and crafted with a forthrightness that rejects piety, cynicism, and self-pity, it brings us face-to-face with a provocative new understanding of the nature of addiction and the meaning of recovery.īy the time he entered a drug and alcohol treatment facility, James Frey had taken his addictions to near-deadly extremes. Each and every time.Intense, unpredictable, and instantly engaging, A Million Little Pieces is a story of drug and alcohol abuse and rehabilitation as it has never been told before. It wasn't my fault I didn't have any say in the matter. It wasn't my fault I was programmed from day one. They allow people to say it wasn't my fault I am genetically predisposed. String enough of those decisions together and you set a course and you set a standard of living. Am I going to take or am I not going to waste my life or am I going to say no and try and stay sober and be a decent person. At that point the decision is a difficult one to make, but it is still a decision. If they take it too often, that process of decision making gets out of control, and if it gets far out of control, it becomes an addiction. Once they have it, they make a decision to take it. An individual wants something, whatever that something is, and makes a desicion to get it. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn’t alone.” More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness. I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right. Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness.

A million little pieces book full#

Alone with my Family, alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People. Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. A place I don’t talk about or acknowledge exists. “I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander. It's the best fucking thing I've ever known or ever felt, the best thing, and that, beautiful Girl, is why I stare at you.” I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. When you're gone, the World starts again, and I don't like it as much. The World just stops and it is a beautiful place and there is only you. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. Every single thing about you is beautiful.

Your hair, your eyes, your lips, your body that you haven't grown into, the way you walk, smile, laugh, the way your cheeks drop when you're mad or upset, the way you drag your feet when you're tired. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The third time fourth time fifth time and every time since, my heart has fallen. The second time I saw you, my heart fell.

“The first time I saw you, my heart fell.